The last two nights I've found myself waking up from bad dreams around 5 in the morning. Yesterday's left me shaken for a few hours. I'd dreamed that I was helping kids on a ropes course and in the middle securing a girl in a harness something popped and I miscarried (though apparently I miscarried a tiny dinosaur, dreams are weird). I hadn't been aware of being pregnant before in the dream (and so far I'm not aware of it in reality either). It was unsettling, but based on the dream I had this morning, I think it is more about my general anxiety and worry than it is of any predictive value.
What kinds of dreams have you been having lately?
I'm looking forward to the weekend, it has been a long and busy week!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Still in the 2ww
I'm keeping pretty busy with work, family, yoga and ICLW. So far, however, I have definitely found myself visiting ttc websites and thinking that perhaps I was a little bit hungrier than usual, or sleepier. My face started breaking out on Monday morning after almost three weeks of nearly perfect skin, so we can assume that's hormonal, but there's no real meaning beyond that.
As summer comes to a close and autumn and winter days are just around the corner it is time to dust off my baking skills and think about cooking too. This summer I've been a lazy cook. We've grilled or had salads or pasta or homemade pizza with an occasional stir fry thrown in whenever we've been home since the end of June! I want to try some new things and learn new cooking skills in the next few months. Any favorite recipes or menu planning ideas you care to share?
We plan a menu for the week and shop off of that, but I'm feeling a little bored with our standard go-to meals.
As summer comes to a close and autumn and winter days are just around the corner it is time to dust off my baking skills and think about cooking too. This summer I've been a lazy cook. We've grilled or had salads or pasta or homemade pizza with an occasional stir fry thrown in whenever we've been home since the end of June! I want to try some new things and learn new cooking skills in the next few months. Any favorite recipes or menu planning ideas you care to share?
We plan a menu for the week and shop off of that, but I'm feeling a little bored with our standard go-to meals.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
2 week wait
Since we've been on a break since the miscarriage in late April, I haven't been through a two week wait since back in the spring. I've definitely ovulated (thanks to the OPK and the crazy mittelschmerz I've been getting) so that puts us back in the two week wait. With my short-ish luteal phase in the past, my two week waits have really been ten or eleven day waits, but this time I'm hoping that it will be two full weeks because the Clomid was supposed to strengthen ovulation and therefore extend the luteal phase. On the downside, I'll have a lot of waiting to do!
What will I do during the 2ww?
Lots of work things- there are several required after work activities to keep me busy this week. I'll definitely be doing some yoga as well. At least one birthday party is on my schedule. I will also be trying to stay away from googling my pregnancy symptoms and stalking message boards. Good thing I have ICLW to help me find interesting parts of the internet rather than obsessing over Dr. Google!
What are your favorite 2ww activities/distractions?
What will I do during the 2ww?
Lots of work things- there are several required after work activities to keep me busy this week. I'll definitely be doing some yoga as well. At least one birthday party is on my schedule. I will also be trying to stay away from googling my pregnancy symptoms and stalking message boards. Good thing I have ICLW to help me find interesting parts of the internet rather than obsessing over Dr. Google!
What are your favorite 2ww activities/distractions?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Update
Just got back from the doctor and am starting to think that today is my lucky day!
-TWO follies on the right!
-Nicely sized too, there's a good chance I'll ovulate TWO this cycle- they're 16.64mm and 15.5mm!
-The follies on the left aren't there any more. Kinda weird, but apparently totally normal.
-Lining is great, healthy & happy over 9mm (I think 9.9?).
-If I don't get a positive LH surge tomorrow or Sunday morning they'll have me take Ovidrel to induce ovulation. My guess is that now that the follies are growing normally and are a good size ovulation will happen on its own, but we shall see.
If you have any extra fingers to cross for us I would greatly appreciate it!
-TWO follies on the right!
-Nicely sized too, there's a good chance I'll ovulate TWO this cycle- they're 16.64mm and 15.5mm!
-The follies on the left aren't there any more. Kinda weird, but apparently totally normal.
-Lining is great, healthy & happy over 9mm (I think 9.9?).
-If I don't get a positive LH surge tomorrow or Sunday morning they'll have me take Ovidrel to induce ovulation. My guess is that now that the follies are growing normally and are a good size ovulation will happen on its own, but we shall see.
If you have any extra fingers to cross for us I would greatly appreciate it!
Welcome ICLWers!
It's great to be back for another round of ICLW and I'm excited to meet you and learn about your stories this week.
Here's a little about me and what's going on right now:
-I'm in my first Clomid cycle to strengthen ovulation and increase my chances of conceiving with just one Fallopian tube.
-I'll have my tenth or eleventh ultrasound in a year this afternoon when I go in for my second mid-cycle follicle check.
-I worry too much.
-Today is Friday and that's wonderful news.
-I'm enjoying some hot chocolate because it has gone from 100 degrees to barely 70 and therefore feels like winter.
-Tomorrow we're going to a friend's birthday party. Any great gift suggestions for a 31 year old guy who loves to ride his bike, drink beer and cares about the environment and gardening?
Here's a little about me and what's going on right now:
-I'm in my first Clomid cycle to strengthen ovulation and increase my chances of conceiving with just one Fallopian tube.
-I'll have my tenth or eleventh ultrasound in a year this afternoon when I go in for my second mid-cycle follicle check.
-I worry too much.
-Today is Friday and that's wonderful news.
-I'm enjoying some hot chocolate because it has gone from 100 degrees to barely 70 and therefore feels like winter.
-Tomorrow we're going to a friend's birthday party. Any great gift suggestions for a 31 year old guy who loves to ride his bike, drink beer and cares about the environment and gardening?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
After Monday's quasi-meltdown, I spent some time gaining perspective.
On Monday evening I went to a yoga class.
On Tuesday afternoon I took myself to an acupuncture session for the first time since the week before the miscarriage back in April.
And of course, yesterday I finally worked up the nerve to call the doctor's office and ask some questions. I'm generally a little shy about the telephone when making personal calls- I have no problem with work phone calls, but when I have to make calls for myself, especially if they're of a personal nature I get really nervous.
The nurse was fantastic. She answered both my reasonable questions (Is there anything else that can be done this cycle to improve my chances?) and my outrageous questions (Should I worry about premature ovarian failure?). The answer to both of those questions is no.
She also reminded me that the difference in follicle size at day 11 was only a millimeter on the left & right and anything could happen at this point. She said that the response of my ovaries was totally average (sure, I'd prefer to be an over-achiever, but I don't want to have a high risk triplet pregnancy or end up with OHSS either). I know I let my imagination run away from me and it *has* been a really long road, but I'm a very, very long way from hopeless and a little perspective is really important. For now, at least, I've got a bit more (okay, maybe the caramel latte yesterday morning helped too).
On Monday evening I went to a yoga class.
On Tuesday afternoon I took myself to an acupuncture session for the first time since the week before the miscarriage back in April.
And of course, yesterday I finally worked up the nerve to call the doctor's office and ask some questions. I'm generally a little shy about the telephone when making personal calls- I have no problem with work phone calls, but when I have to make calls for myself, especially if they're of a personal nature I get really nervous.
The nurse was fantastic. She answered both my reasonable questions (Is there anything else that can be done this cycle to improve my chances?) and my outrageous questions (Should I worry about premature ovarian failure?). The answer to both of those questions is no.
She also reminded me that the difference in follicle size at day 11 was only a millimeter on the left & right and anything could happen at this point. She said that the response of my ovaries was totally average (sure, I'd prefer to be an over-achiever, but I don't want to have a high risk triplet pregnancy or end up with OHSS either). I know I let my imagination run away from me and it *has* been a really long road, but I'm a very, very long way from hopeless and a little perspective is really important. For now, at least, I've got a bit more (okay, maybe the caramel latte yesterday morning helped too).
Monday, August 17, 2009
Day 11, later
I spent a good part of the day feeling upset and frustrated.
However, the doctor didn't seem super worried this morning. As my husband will probably remind me later, he said 'it all looks very normal'... And maybe it is... It is only day 11, the follicles have several more days until ovulation is even expected. They grow about 1-2mm per day, that could have them at 16-18mm by Thursday (which would only be CD 14 and I have ovulated later than that before). The fact that there's only one on the right is a definite bummer, but it isn't impossible for a egg from one ovary to be grabbed by the opposite Fallopian tube (in fact, I think that happened the last time I got pregnant).
The difficulty, not surprisingly, is that my heart has been set on getting pregnant and having a baby for a very long time and we've been running into roadblocks from the beginning. After all, the month we'd decided to start trying I ended up in the ER with a very, very painful ovarian cyst and believe it or not, things went downhill from there! It's not crazy for me to think that there's going to be a problem around every corner- that's pretty much what's happened. What I have to remember is that sometimes the internet is wrong or overwrought and eventually there will not be a problem or a roadblock around every corner. Just like in all parts of life, sometimes the road is bumpy and full of traps and other times the path ahead opens up and the danger disappears and it's smooth sailing and pretty blue skies for miles. I could really use some open road.
However, the doctor didn't seem super worried this morning. As my husband will probably remind me later, he said 'it all looks very normal'... And maybe it is... It is only day 11, the follicles have several more days until ovulation is even expected. They grow about 1-2mm per day, that could have them at 16-18mm by Thursday (which would only be CD 14 and I have ovulated later than that before). The fact that there's only one on the right is a definite bummer, but it isn't impossible for a egg from one ovary to be grabbed by the opposite Fallopian tube (in fact, I think that happened the last time I got pregnant).
The difficulty, not surprisingly, is that my heart has been set on getting pregnant and having a baby for a very long time and we've been running into roadblocks from the beginning. After all, the month we'd decided to start trying I ended up in the ER with a very, very painful ovarian cyst and believe it or not, things went downhill from there! It's not crazy for me to think that there's going to be a problem around every corner- that's pretty much what's happened. What I have to remember is that sometimes the internet is wrong or overwrought and eventually there will not be a problem or a roadblock around every corner. Just like in all parts of life, sometimes the road is bumpy and full of traps and other times the path ahead opens up and the danger disappears and it's smooth sailing and pretty blue skies for miles. I could really use some open road.
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