Stuck

The emotion I've been feeling most often is a sense of being stuck and trapped. I'm not sure how to get unstuck, or even if getting unstuck is what needs to happen. Maybe I just need to hang out and be stuck for a while.
This weekend was tough, I'm so done with having people in my space and I am not good at handling my frustration. I've been feeling a lot of frustration with the grieving process and all the unanswered questions I still have about the next steps. All of this combines to make me less than a bundle of fun to be around.

I really wish someone could just answer some of these questions for me. Anyone have any ideas?
-2 miscarriages in a row, not technically the definition of recurrent miscarriage, but close enough for me. Should I push my doctor for more testing?
-Does the chemical pregnancy count or not in the diagnosis of 'recurrent miscarriage'? (note: I have not been diagnosed with this)
-Do I need to wait til it is absolutely confirmed that my thyroid meds have moved my TSH to the optimal levels or is it safe to try again before the next blood test?
-Is there anything else I should do to make sure I never have to go through a miscarriage again? Because oh my goodness does that suck.
-Why is this happening to me?

Okay, so those last two questions are rhetorical, but I wish they could be answered.

Getting my groove back

Slowly, but surely I've been getting back to normal. Having the husband's parents in town isn't exactly normal, but it does give me plenty to focus on that is not miscarriage or ttc-related so I have lots of distractions. Granted, not all good distractions, but generally I think I'm finding my way back to quite an enjoyable life. People who don't know what's gone on for me in the last few months probably think there hasn't been any particular change, even close friends and family might not think I needed to worry about 'getting back to normal', but really, as I've made progress in that direction, I realize over and over again that this is a long process and I still have quite a bit of work to do.

This weekend was great in that it was really relaxing and fun, but I also got a few things accomplished (books read, laundry done, friends visited) while not feeling like I was running from place to place. My husband and I spent some really good quality time together too. Last night I started reading "Miscarriage : why it happens and how best to reduce your risks" by Henry M. Lerner. Reading the book is interesting, but a little scary- I'm really, really hoping that my chemical pregnancy and then my miscarriage were just bad luck and that I am not going to be experiencing recurrent miscarriage. I'm quite certain I'm not that brave and strong.

I think some health progress has been made too. Last week I got blood drawn for the ninth or tenth time this year, this time to have my thyroid tested again. The results indicated that the medication I had been taking was not helping enough so the dosage has been increased. Right now I feel hopeful that this new dose of thyroid medication can help me along the path to having a healthy conception and pregnancy a little ways down the road.